Rediscovery

Like many things from the time I spent pretty much housebound in 2008 I did not realise I had this blog until I stumbled across it. Now, 2 years later I am on Lithium. I am more 'stable' but so very tired.

I've tried my best to pick up my life but to no avail, I'm a year and a half into my MA in Community Work and have just been turned down for teacher training. I know I'd be awesome at it, kids love me.

There are no jobs anywhere for a new person to the workforce, all training is work based, all work requires experience and work based training. I've tried to kill myself so many times but generally wake up a few days later confused and stinking.

SMILe(Student Mental Illness Lifeline) has been good for me to work on but I come up against so much opposition. I don't see why wanting to help people is controversial.

Writing - I had a scholarship at Totleigh Barton in Devon, it was the happiest week of my life. I almost felt normal and my words were valued. I also took part in NanoWrimo and completed it.

I don't know why I'm writing this. There is no one out there who is bothered. A tiny part of me hopes some laptop god will post me a job, here Amy, here is your new life. Take it, be new.