Oh crap, is that really the time.

I've just woken up and it's 6.30(pm that is!). I had a very stressful day yesterday as I had to go to the doctor then had about 10 hours on my own. I don't like my own company in the least bit. I did some writing for my story when I couldn't sleep during the night. I'm not writing it in a linear fashion, when I get ideas or images for certain chapters I just go and write. Annoyingly I couldn't wake up my friend to get my computer lead so I wrote on the back of a leaflet. I must type it up soon before it gets lost.

Anyway, lets get on with draft 2 of the pants poem I put up the other day! For a dry, witty kind of poem I feel it is lacking in rhyme. Also the line about the destuffed teddy is such a cliche. Also, I feel it needs a new title.

Memories from the Biscuit Tin

Weak squash and a custard cream/fruit shortie
These comforts of my childhood
Now, a remedial dream/remedy
Comfort disintegrates like
the last digestive, crushed in the packet
Stale memories haunt the floral biscuit tin
An omnipresent smell of decay.
I lament, and reach for the tonic, the gin
It was all so much easier back then.

It still has a total lack of a decent form. This may be one to abandon. Still I like the God-like quality of the word 'omnipresent', it kind of indicates faith. The ritual of the remedy having been like a prayer. The flowers on the biscuit tin are designed to contrast with the decay of the reality. Also a pun in the last line, that gin is the new tonic. I still can't decide on the first rhymes, the custard cream one sounds a bit pompous and the fruit shortie just loses any sense of rhythm that there was as it is too short. Also assonantal rhyme just doesn't seem to fit. I should probably regig the lines to get a rhyme scheme as opposed to random rhyme but then I suppose the lack of structure could be helpful to the feeling that everything is falling apart.